dizzy (amended)

February 18, 2014 § Leave a comment

I was applying for a hostel place next year when I came upon the task of having to update the particulars of my “Next of Kin”.  It was my mother’s name glaring at me, and I couldn’t edit her name for some reason.  I stared at it for a bit, while remembering all of my other forms on which I have placed her name as well.  “Should I update those? Nah, not now.”  Putting her name on my “person to contact in case of emergency” was one of my security blankets in the past.  I always thought twice when I encountered that question.  And I always placed her name at the end of my second thought.  It was if by placing her name there, I was assured she would be there in the event of an emergency.  God, was I wrong.  And I knew I would be, some day.

I placed my brother’s email address instead for the contact details.  Ama doesn’t have (nor want) an email address.  The world feels a little bit colder when I think of my brother and my dad.  They’re the only 2 immediate family members I have left.  Even with just 1 difference, 3 felt a whole lot bigger.

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On other news, I got a large envelope in the mail today! :) Thank you, Gale for the letter and the cute box! :) I immediately propped up the box and placed all my random small prints which we’re begging for a place to stay at for several weeks now.  My desk looks a lot cuter! :D  Thank you for taking the time to write to me.  I know you guys are busy there, and of course it means a whole lot you always take the time to send me things. :)  I wannaaaa go hoooome….soon!

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(added Feb 20) Oooh, and I have to add, the next next day, these other lovely things came: :D :D :D

DSC_0777from Marge <3  It will take me some time to reply to this mail because I don’t want to rush it too.  But I really appreciated reading it  :)

from Angelica, all the way from Canada!!! <3 I loved everything in the package! I will definitely make time to read this book :)

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It’s so hard to be a good person.  God, please give me the strength to bear with these things silently.

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