when God says “No”
August 11, 2013 § 4 Comments
I was just reading a book given to me by my cousin. It’s Bo Sanchez’s “Simplify and Create Abundance”. Kuya Raffy gave it 8 months ago but I never got to reading it. I brought it with me to Singapore primarily because I just want to have something to remember him; and because he wrote a nice letter on it that I know will keep me in perspective during the years I’ll be here. I try to read it before I start my day, but usually I don’t really get to relate to the things there because it’s mostly about wealth creation – which is not so applicable to me at this time that I’m basically not economically productive. haha. Anyway, I was reading a chapter this morning which was about trusting God when He says “No”. After reading the short chapter, I thought about the times God said “no” to my prayers and I couldn’t help but start crying. God said “no” to all my applications in the USA. God said “no” when we wanted our mom to get better already. God said “no” when I wanted someone. But for all the times that God said “no”, I realized it was always for something better.
God didn’t give me my dream school, but he gave me somewhere I’ll probably be more comfortable with and nearer to home. I just have to trust Him that I can make it here and He’ll see me through. He didn’t even give it to me at the time I wanted it, but He gave at a time of uncertainty. Until now, nothing I decide on seems to be the ultimate correct choice, but the only thing I’m sure of is that I shouldn’t be afraid of failure as long as I have faith in Him.
God didn’t completely heal my mom yet even if we’ve been asking it for the longest time. But living with my mom with cancer has taught us so many values that I would probably have never learned by heart if not for my mom’s condition. Until now, It continually teaches me to be thankful for every single moment that I’m with people I love, it teaches me to be thankful for the small things, just when I start forgetting to be grateful enough. It teaches me to be patient and it teaches me to be humble, because I know nothing is permanent and anything can happen the next day. It teaches me to find the good in everyone and it teaches me to understand that everyone is going through the same challenge in life, no matter how different the circumstance. It’s shown me the capacity of people to love despite their own tragedies, and it motivates me to be a better person for every single time a person makes time to touch our life.
God gave me a broken heart that was so painful to deal with. And most of the time, I don’t understand why I’ve never been good enough to be in a relationship until now. But for all the pain that loving too much has caused me, it taught me to love more anyway. I guess in part, it’s taught me to know what real love means. And even more, to still be patient and to appreciate the many blessings I have instead of looking for the things I don’t have.
For all the times God said “no”, I know He has a “yes” reserved for me for something else. Whatever those things are, I believe it will always be for the better. :)
I got to talk to naychi, ama and gab yesterday! :) I miss being together with them all the time.
And I finally met the other Filipinos here in NUS! :) I got home close to 3am already awhile ago, but I got to learn a lot of things while talking to all of them. (one of which is I really really have to start my research now *deep breath* I can do this) It’s always nice to get to meet people from all walks of life.