things that make me cry

I’ve actually been trying to save one big post for all my friends that I’ll sorely miss…but I’ll make an exception for this one because today marks the day I got one of the best gifts EVER. :’)

Not because it’s big and plenty.  

Not because it’s insanely creative beyond measure and surely took enough nights that could have finished a couple of paragraphs for a thesis, reports for work, or plans for another weekend. 

Not because I died over the colorful pens and the cute band-aids (I have a real, wasteful obsession over colored pens and cute band-aids, did you really know that??? :’)).

Not because it ACTUALLY has my 2 favorite chocolate snacks.

Not because it has enough sugar to kill a horse.

And not because I already have my first birthday card and Christmas card and Christmas gift for the year…and Valentine’s card for next year!

It’s the best gift ever because it’s from my friends Marge, Gale, April & JM. 

Because Marge & Gale could have been better off writing and doing their thesis than slaving nights on something like this.

Because JM said “Love, JM” —— DID YOU REALLY SAY THATT??? :D :D :D

Because I don’t think I’ll be able to see April anymore before I leave but reading your letters here comforted me that it’ll be okay. :)

Because there are so many things in it that tell me you surprisingly know me well.

Because even if I’m just really an average, ordinary person in this vast universe where I am clearly outnumbered and outshined by so many other individuals (like you, yourselves!), you guys always make me feel like I’m a great friend and a great person who can achieve anything in this world.

Because it made me cry.  It made me cry because you made me guys miss you so much and regret the fact that I can’t spend time with all of you together before I go.

Because I don’t deserve this. really.

Because I can never repay this – and I’m scared I won’t be able to tell and show you that you mean this much to me too.

Because this actually made me even more scared of losing any of you.

Because…because there’s so many other because-s but I can’t think of all of them right now. :(

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I really suck in good-byes, but I know saying that to you guys is unnecessary.  I don’t know what’s in store for us in the future, even if I genuinely wish it involves all of us being even closer than now and perfectly healthy & happy.  However, all this fretting is unimportant.  What’s important is that at one point in time, we met each other and somehow touched each other’s lives for the better.   That’s the only thing that matters and I’ll always know that. :)

Marge, this despedida gift has you spelled and spilled all over it.  Even if you always say “you’re not creative, etc. etc.”, YOU ARE. I swear.  Jeez, you can sell this idea for a thousand bucks!!  Thank you for always making these things for us.  You give so much time, love and effort on all your gifts. Do you know how much pressure this puts on us when it’s your turn to go away?? A WHOLE LOT.  Diba, JM, April, Gale? hahaha. Marge, thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)  My gifts will never be this creative, but you know what, my longest handwritten letters have always been for you. :)

Gale, I honestly owe you the most, I think. I hope I’ll get the chance to make it up to you, even just a little over half of everything you did.  But thank you for treating me nothing less than a real friend anyway. :) And don’t ever think you owe me anything for our friendship.  Ever since I met you, I’ve always thought you were a genuinely nice and wonderful person. Maybe we got a bit lost somewhere in between, but you proved me right in the end. :) Thank you for being patient and understanding me. :) Five years is a short time, and we have our entire lives to build our friendship more.

JM, yes even if the dynamics of our relationship is still the same…or worse grrr…you can’t stop me from trying to change that.  hahaha. And I do realize that I can’t help it either if you insist on not changing it. I’ll accept that.  And you’ll accept me. Because that’s how friends are. :) Fine, you will always be the mature, level-headed, serious one and I will always be the immature, over-acting, wacky one. (and don’t pull that “sabi ng panget, wacky” joke on me! haha) But I choose to believe that however concisely written your letters always are, they’re always just the tip of the iceberg. :) I hope I’m right. :)) please? :D

April, thank you for writing all those letters. I think you wrote the most. :D I was honestly disappointed that we both couldn’t adjust our schedule to be able to meet before I leave :(, but reading your notes have reassured me. :)  Please don’t be sad and don’t even think I’m leaving you for greener pastures, etc. Jusko, puro building ata asa Singapore hahaha. I’m just going there for a short time to get some brownie points. haha.  Pagbalik ko dito, baka presidente ka na ng TI ha! hehe. Don’t think you can’t text or call me anymore! I’ll get Viber!! :D Sabi mo I’ll always have a home in you. :) So humanda ka pag nag breakdown ako, kelangan mo ako pakinggan!! hahaha.

 Words can only say so much, but I’m hoping I’ve conveyed even just a percent of my gratitude to you guys. Thank you :)

I don’t usually do this…or do I? hahaha. But anyway, this deserves a quadrupled self-taken shot with me!!! :D

I MISS YOU ALL ALREADY BELIEVE ME :( And I really had fun digging! :p

I actually cried when I saw this

:D

wait for these. ;)

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P.S. It’s 2 am already but I promised myself I’ll post this thing today. :D Actually dapat yesterday pero inabutan na ako ng kinabukasan. :p